I have always thought that I would graduate with a degree in English. I am good at it. I was the English Sterling Scholar winner. I read Dickens for fun. It seemed almost expected.
But the farther I got into my English degree, the more depressed I got. Yes, I love to read, but I HATE to analyze a book to shreds. I don't care what the author meant by choosing daisies over roses (maybe they just liked daisies better?) I could not join in the passionate debates of my classmates....because I am not passionate about analyzing books, I just like reading them.
And then there was the foreign language requirement. I would love to learn another language, but I have a hard time learning language in a classroom setting. My anxiety goes crazy when I have to demonstrate something in front of the class. I feel like almost everyone else in the class already knows more than me (through missions or high school classes) and I end up just feeling really dumb.
During my time away from school, I got myself excited about my major again. But the semester started and it was awful. I hated my classes. I didn't want to go. I was doing homework when I read a quote by Stephen King. He said, "If there's no joy in it, it's just no good." Finally I broke down crying and told Joe that I just. don't. want. to. be. an. english. major.
My brother is taking an anthropology class that he really likes. It got me thinking about that major and I ran a DARS. It turns out that it's a pretty fast major. And I have already taken a few classes for it. I guess I've been working toward an anthropology major without even knowing it! I love the class descriptions, it all sounds so fascinating!
I was hesitant at first because I don't know what to do with an anthropology degree. But, I don't need a career. I want a degree and I want a job after school, but I don't care what it is. I want to be a mom. I always have the possibility of continuing on to get a masters degree.
Right now, I am pretty enthusiastic. I hope I have finally found something.